what to do.

When you are so used to being in pain, when you are so used to being sad and alone, is really difficult to change. You can't wake up one day and just learn to be happy and to hope things to be better. Because you know, after everything you have been through, that nothing ever goes the way you planned it. And the only thing you want to do is sit in a sofa waiting for life to punch you in the face, because the good things are always followed bad things. That is how I am feeling right now. Nothing extraordinary happened to me yet, but it has been really calm lately, and I am scared that everything could go wrong in any minute. I am always worried and stressed and I just dont want to be like this anymore, but dont know what to do either.