Dilemas dilemas dilemas

I'm fine. I'm fine. I'm fine. I'm always fine. I'm always happy. I'm always in a good mood. I have a perfect life. I have perfect people in my life. I have everything that i want, right?
No. I really don't have nothing. And sometimes I don't care about that, but today i care. It's not about having everything that I want, but just something that keeps me going. I feel like nothing ever affect me or if it does i just hide that feeling really deep and never think about that again. And it's not good, but that's the way i found to keep moving forward. And I may don't like it but that is what I am. In some way I don't want to change that because I think I'm gonna lose what I am, and that really scare me. I don't want to change, but I don't want to stay the same either. That is the dilem of my life. And I hope someday I will solve it.